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A: Being 13 is "going through some things" in and of itself without the insane pressure of a mother who expects perfection and sees her child not as a human being but as a shiny little bauble to flaunt to the other parents. The kind of mother you describe can do terrible harm, but it's generally not seen as abuse to have high expectations.Tiger Mother Amy Chua sold millions of books describing her formula for producing offspring who always gets A's.
Now that you have a child, his ability to function in the world is of major importance, and being able to smell his breath from 20 feet is not a career-enhancer.I am sure I don't need to tell you what that has done to me in terms of self-esteem and intimacy. They do not need to know the truth about my husband's addiction. I know a lot of people felt things went wrong when Ronald Reagan left office, but your husband seems to have taken to an extreme.You say it's been almost a quarter-century since you and your husband had sex. : About six months ago, I decided to assume that my husband will never change, and make the decision whether to continue with our marriage based on that assumption.That decision has been very freeing—I've stopped nagging and just acted on the assumption that I would take care of everything, so the help he provides is now a nice bonus. But here's the problem—sometime in the future, probably when our son is older or has left the nest, I think that the answer to that question will turn to "no." When that happens, I know my husband will be shocked.
Do I have any obligation to let him know my thinking?
Imagining Sex: My wife of seven years and I have an amazing life together.
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